Minecdotes
by PrincessPeace15
Summary: This may turn out really dumb, but I'm trying it anyway! Welcome to a collection of oneshots/short stories featuring Minecraft! I won't guarantee that they will all be funny. They will likely be a variety of different categories. Have any suggestions for a Minecdote to be included in this collection? Let me know, and I will take it into consideration! Rated T for safety, and enjoy!
1. Guess He Really Needs Brains This Time

*Mark's POV*

Before I go into too much, let me introduce my friends: Scrooge the Enderman, Bill the Creeper, and Alex the Zombie. Scrooge was the smartmouth of the group. Yeah, he was smart, but he always had to be so… extravagant about it. Bill, unfortunately, was the amorous one. Every evident hole in the ground represents one attempt at flirting. Every single hole. There wasn't really anything special about Alex, except that he was the lazy one.

Oh, I almost forgot! I'm Mark the Skeleton! Alex and Bill go to me for advice, like, all the time. Heck, even Scrooge has once or twice, so yeah, I'm the brains here. How else was I destined to kill a player with a bow?!

Anyway, today, we were kind of in a predicament. It was nighttime, and storming. Alex had been hit by lightning and wasn't dead, but had been knocked out.

"Err…" he groaned when he finally woke up. "What happened?"

"Lightning strike," said Scrooge. "I told you, thunderstorms aren't as safe as they seem!"

"Daw, shut it!" Alex snapped. He then saw my bow and grabbed it right out of my hands.

"Hey!" I shouted. "Give me my bow!"

Within a few seconds of saying that, an arrow slammed right into my forehead, knocking me over.

"Sorry, Mark," Alex called. I heard him shoot a couple more arrows.

"That's nice," I growled, getting up. "Now, may I please have my bow back?!"

"But this one's mine!" he countered. Scrooge saved the day, it seemed, by stealing the bow from him as if it were candy from a baby.

"But you're not a Skeleton, Alex," Scrooge said. "You must have lost your memory from the lightning!"

"Wait…" said Alex. "…Oh, I remember what to do!" He stood up, then slowly and dramatically inched his way over to us.

"Hssss…" he said. Then, he went "Booom!" and fell backward onto the ground. "Terrified?"

"Hey!" Bill shouted. "I DON'T act that dumb!"

"CALM DOWN!" I shouted. We all knew what happened when Bill got mad. There are some other holes somewhere else to commemorate those moments. Thankfully, he calmed down.

"Alex," Scrooge sighed, shaking his head solemnly. "You're not a Creeper, either."

"Well, then, what am I?!" Alex asked.

"You are a Zombie," I reminded him.

"What do I do?"

"Just run into people."

He inched closer to me until he ran into me, hurting me a little.

"Not me, ya dolt!" I shouted.

"Are you serious?" Alex asked with disbelief. "Is that all I do?!"

"…Yeah, pretty much," Scrooge, Bill, and I said simultaneously.

"I need to have a talk with the boss," he said, walking away.

"But," said Bill. "We don't have a-"

"Just let him go," I snickered. "I wanna see how long it takes him to figure it out."

All 3 of us watched him walk far, far away, laughing as quietly as we could, shaking our heads at the same time.

**Author's note: What do you think? I saw one of these and thought "Why not make a series of oneshots for Minecraft?" I'm not necessarily sure when it'll end. It's not really a challenge or anything. Just a collection of oneshots that will be updated every Wednesday. Did I start off on a stupid note or no? Reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Bout of Wither

**Author's note: This week's minecdote is based on an actual dream I had.**

(Rachael's (the Player) POV)

You want me to tell you about THAT day, of all days? Actually, it is one of the tales I like telling better than many others.

Not much happened, but it still managed to feel like a lot. Not to mention, it was probably the scariest day of my entire life here in Minecraft.

My project at the time was to make one dispenser for every single item I had in the castle. Finding the stone was not a problem whatsoever, for I had at least 20 full stacks of it! Redstone was not a problem, either.

It was the string for the bows. I knew I wouldn't get completely done with this project for a while because spiders were not as common as I would have liked them to be.

I was just placing the lever down for one of them, when I turned around and saw that one of my wolves was looking down at the ground. Not curiously, but like it was... depressed. This was unusual. Usually, all 7 of them were staring at me with their puppy eyes, begging for me to allow them to stand up and fight with me. The others were doing just that. I walked up to this wolf that looked sad, quietly and nervously asking "Are you alright?"

I thoroughly expected him to budge not an inch. But instead came the start of a disaster.

This is the first time I had ever seen the most prominent sign of the epidemic my wolves were going through. And the scariest.

And all he did was look up at me. The reason that his stare chilled my blood and my soul, and froze me to the spot with fear... was all in his eyes. They were no longer raised like they usually were. They were the same shape as they were before I had tamed him. Not only that, but something black was smeared on the outside of his eyes, and his pupil was gone. The scariest sight of all were his empty eyes, staring into my soul and chilling it to the very core. It was like something had melted his pupil and it was now bleeding out of his eyes.

He was dead silent. Not a bark, not a whimper... not a single sound.

I panicked when gradually, the other 6 wolves started to fall silent as well.

I looked up, and all of their eyes were the exact same as those of the first. What was happening to them?!

Then, a familiar sound screeched through my castle. It was that of what was probably the most dangerous and powerful boss in Minecraft.

The Wither. Why I was hearing it, I didn't know. I resided in the Xbox 360 Edition, and here, there were no such things. Yes, they existed, but in the realm of PC. At the time, they could be found absolutely nowhere else. I had only heard of them from people who had ventured to the PC realm and had recorded them on video. Anyway, I knew the sound, and I knew something was horribly wrong.

Then, distracted by my thoughts, I was knocked backwards, and out of oblivion, by a powerful bomb of some sort that flew into me and knocked me into the previously calm waters of my indoor pool. I soon saw 6 more of them coming for me, and I scrambled out of the pool and sprinted out of the castle. The section I was just at was completely destroyed. Wither Skulls? But HOW?!

All 7 of my wolves blew the door out of existence and followed me wherever I ran. I ran to the nearby desert biome and then realized that whatever was going on, I was doomed unless I slayed my wolves. These wolves had everything the Wither had... except for its alarmingly high health. I was able to slay them easily. Still, I fell to my knees in the sand, still recovering from the panic that I had suffered just moments before.

A male voice spoke to me from behind, asking if I was okay. I turned around, staring into the worried green eyes of a Villager. For your information, yes, there was a village very near where I was.

"My wolves... Wither..." I tried to speak fluently.

Then, I blacked out, soon waking up on a bed in a Villager's house, with who I assumed was that same Villager staring down at me.

"You're right!" he said as I sat up. Then, I heard screams and more Wither sounds from outside. "Our village's doctor found out that these wolves are being infected with a parasite of some sort!"

When I got up and went outside, all of the Villagers nearby were holding swords, most of them being of stone, breathing heavily.

"I think... we've got them all..." one panted. "There were so many! I thought I'd never make it through in one piece!"

I looked around, noticing that in the area just outside the village, there were abundant craters in the ground. I could have sworn I saw a few iron ores.

What was this mystery... thing that drove all of the wolves mad? What was going on?!

**Author's note: To be continued... possibly never, but maybe with popular demand... Either way, leave a review! It's greatly appreciated!**


	3. A Destructive Classic

**Author's note: This minecdote was suggested by DragonZeus1. Thanks, man! It means a lot!**

*Mark's POV*

That was an unpleasant way to wake up. The first sound to enter my ears that morning (yet another long day of sitting under a tree, not being able to move much) was the sound of wicked laughter. It was the laughter of Bill and Scrooge. They were out in the sun, which made my envy grow to a boiling point, so I thought they were laughing at me and Alex, who also couldn't move out from under a tree without burning to a crisp.

"Hey, shut up!" I yelled to Bill and Scrooge. "It's not our fault we're not immune to the sun!

"We know, we know!" Bill called. "We're not laughing at you guys!"

"Come on, Bill," said Scrooge. "I can't wait!"

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"That's none of your beeswax," Scrooge smirked. At that, they walked away.

I looked at Alex. He just shrugged his shoulders.

*Scrooge's POV*

Bill led me quite a distance.

Let me explain something first. In this world, there were 2 players, one male, one female. They did not know of each other's presence here. The man was Steve, and he was quite famous for being an unofficial mascot of Minecraft. The girl was Rachael, and from what I heard, she felt like nobody cared for her whatsoever. When would they meet? Sometime in the future, but that's not the point.

"Why are we pranking the one whose house is in the farthest corner of the world, rather than the one person that was RIGHT THERE?!" Bill asked angrily.

"Rachael would never let me live it down," I sighed. "You know how I feel about her." Bill was probably my best friend, but I still blushed. It wasn't often that I admitted my feelings for Rachael. She was just as pretty as a picture. I couldn't ever take my eyes off of her until it was physically impossible to keep her in my sight... or until Mark shot at me, or Bill started to hiss, or Alex tried to beat me up. They totally disapproved, but I didn't care.

We finally arrived at Steve's excuse for a house. Steve never really liked extravagant stuff. Maybe it was because he was the absolute epitome of noobishness.

"There he is!" said Bill, pointing to who was indeed a very happy-looking Steve. "Remember the plan? You steal the blocks _right_ after he places them. Then, when I give the signal, you step aside and let me knock his block off."

"Deal!" I smiled.

And so, our awesome plan of awesomeness was commenced. Steve placed a dirt block down, and I tiptoed behind him and stole the block. The look on Steve's face... dear God, I almost lost it. It was the same block over and over, and I just kept stealing them, even when he made sure to keep his eyesight on it. We hid, cracking up as he gave that dirt block the most wickedly hilarious face I had ever seen.

"Alright," he eventually growled. "DON'T. MOVE."

Then, he turned away form it.

Bill whispered "One more, one more." So I took it once more. Steve turned around, seeing that the block has disobeyed him.

"THAT'S IT!" he screamed. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"

Then, totally unexpectedly, he went on a rampage, using his sword to rip up the ground beneath him. We had to duck a bit behind the little chunk of hill we had to hide behind.

Eventually, he stopped, literally steaming at the spot. And I felt Bill start to creep toward him.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Dude, chill," said Bill. "Chill like ol' Bill here. This is the kind of reaction we were looking for, right?:" He continued on his prowl.

"No..." I murmured. And when did I ever know Bill to take a chill pill?

Soon, I heard Bill hiss. Well, I guess we _were_ aiming to annoy Steve. And we did just that. I looked up and watched as he blew up, knocking Steve over and making him turn red. Musta killed him.

Bill soon pulled himself back together, and we did a head-and-hand high five. I sometimes felt bad for Bill. When I see him, I sometimes realize just how amazing arms are.


	4. Aww, Poor Wait, What?

*Mark's POV*

Man, did I ever hate the day Alex lost his memory. He eventually got it back, and all was well.

Until the day he felt lonely.

The sky was dark and the moon was high overhead. I walked around as much as I could, enjoying my freedom. Scrooge and Bill were off causing trouble somewhere else, so I _thought _everything would be alright.

Then, all of a sudden, I hear "Gimme a hug!" And huge, buff arms separate my head from my body. Freaking Alex.

"Oops," he said. "Sorry, Mark." He then reattached my head.

"What in all of _heck _did you do THAT for?!" I yelled.

"I just wanted a hug…" he sighed. At that, head hung, he walked away. Pathetic. Who'd ever wanna hug THAT thing?

*Bill's POV*

That night, Scrooge and I were screwing with Steve. I had just killed him, and while we waited for him to respawn, I was suddenly grabbed around the neck by big, huge arms.

"GAH!" I screamed, jumping out of their grasp. "Who are you?"

"It's me, Alex," he said, making himself known.

"What did you try to choke me for?" I asked.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry!" Alex replied. "I didn't mean to hurt you! I just wanted a hug…"

"YOU?! HA!" I said. "Who'd want to hug a big, disgusting green thing like YOU?!"

"Uh, Bill," Scrooge interjected. "I'd like to ask who'd want to hug a practically limbless, rough, green dynamite stick as well." He giggled at his own joke. "Don't worry, Alex, I'll hug you."

At that, he picked Alex up, held him for a split second, and put him down.

"Thanks!" Alex cheered. "I feel much better!... Hey, wanna go troll Rachael with me?"

"NO!" Scrooge replied. "…Y-You know I like her…"

"Do you SERIOUSLY think she'd recognize you from any other mediocre Enderman?" said Alex. "This could be your chance to impress her, man! Come on!"

"…Hey, you're right!" said Scrooge. "Let's go!"

And they walked off into the moonlight, leaving me all alone. Well, at least I don't burn in the daylight… like a _certain green human thing_…

**Author's note: If you have any suggestions for a minecdote, please let me know. I **_**will **_**consider it. Leave a review!**


	5. So It's Really That Simple

*Bill's POV*

The day when my comrades learned how to mess with me is one I will never forget.

It was a rather beautiful day. The sun was shining, cows were mooing, and Steve was… actually coming toward our usual resting spot by Rachael's castle. He was looking up at said castle, actually. That dopy face made me so mad.

I know I complained whenever Scrooge talked about his crush on Rachael, but deep down, I supported him every step of the way. Every time I imagined what they'd look like together, I smiled. I didn't know why… it just felt right.

And even if Steve wasn't gonna fall in love for her, I didn't want him near her for any reason whatsoever. That dopy face… those ragged clothes… he just didn't deserve to be in her\ presence. Ask Scrooge. He could probably explain it better.

But anyway, I walked up to Steve, fueling up for yet another fatal explosion. Steve turned around and saw me… but didn't run away.

My seemingly imaginary heart just about stopped. I was doing what I had learned to… I was doing what I always did! NOTHING different!

Then WHY WAS I NOT EXPLODING?!

I thought I could feel Steve laugh at me. He turned around and went into the castle. If there was a wall within a few inches of me, I'd slam my head into it. Repeatedly. I let him get away…

Then, I heard actual laughing. It sounded like… Mark? And was that Alex laughing with him?

I turned around and saw them peeking out at me from behind a tree in our little hangout spot. They, indeed, were laughing at me. They were cracking up… hard.

"Ah, shut up!" I growled, walking up to them. "…Did you guys happen to have anything to do with the fact that I couldn't blow up?!"

Mark and Alex looked at each other.

"Fine," Mark chuckled. "Here. We've had our fun." He threw a piece of gunpowder at me.

My fuel.

"What'd you do THAT for?!" I raged. "Steve's probably talking to Rachael! STEVE!"

"Easy," a voice said from behind. I turned around, seeing that Scrooge had returned… and he was holding Steve by the scruff of the neck. Thank goodness.

"Where've you been, Scrooge?" asked Alex.

"I'm building something for Rachael," he replied. "If everything turns out right, she'll love me forever!"

"Did Steve get to her?" I asked.

"Almost," said Scrooge. "She was in her enchantment room, and he almost got to the door before I grabbed him. Surprised she didn't hear us…"

* * *

**Author's note: Real talk, I **_**really**_** appreciate whenever you suggest ideas. Coming up with them on my own is pretty difficult. Anyway, please review, and have a great day! :)**


	6. Wolf Got My Leg

*Mark's POV*

I really hate my life. Nothing ever goes right. I'm forced to work with a mentally messed-up Zombie, a lovesick Enderman, and… well, Bill was actually alright. In fact, I can say that he is the only living being around here I can call a true friend.

But I'm not even entirely real! See my leg? Yeah. It's an iron bar. For the sake of your interest, I'll go ahead and tell you what happened on that other seemingly normal day.

I was just walking about one night, enjoying my temporary freedom, when I felt like someone was watching me.

I looked all around me, and just as I was about to continue on my merry way (I was in a strange mood to troll Steve and see what all the hubbub was about), I saw him. A lone wolf, staring at me with hungry eyes. Literally. Hungry. I was confused. I was ANYTHING but meat, and from what I had heard, that was what wolves ate.

...After the taming process. This wolf was collarless.

I was dead… not meat, but… okay, I was dead bone. I tried to run away, but I soon felt small, yet powerful jaws clench down on my leg. No matter how hard I tried to get away, he eventually got my leg off. Being a skeleton and all, it didn't hurt, but I had to use that to walk!

"Hey!" I shouted. "That's my-"

The wolf hadn't really been tamed yet, so it looked up and growled at me. Normally, this would have had nothing on me, but… holy geez, the look in his eyes scared me. It was almost like these guys were possessed by demons at birth until given a bone or something. His teeth were fully bared, and I knew they could easily chomp on me.

But I was sitting on the ground, and the sun was about to rise. I knew it, for the moon was touching the trees in the distance.

"Hey!" called a voice from behind me. I struggled to flip myself around so that I laid eyes on Scrooge. I was a little shocked at how tall he was from this angle. "Here."

He handed me the iron bar that is currently my leg. To me, that thing was as precious as diamond… no, emerald.

"Thank you!" I said, gratefully taking it from him. It was like I was some sort of survivor in a poverty-stricken country or something. I was on the ground, desperate to be able to stand again. I attached the bar to the joint in my hip, and Scrooge offered me a hand and helped me up. I was a little bummed by the fact that I couldn't bend my leg, but at least I could walk on it again!

"Went to The End and found a bunch of them," said Scrooge. "I just thought they looked cool, but I didn't think that they'd be of much use to you!"

"It certainly was," I sighed.

I still hate my life, but this is the night that I gained a little bit of respect for Scrooge. He wasn't as stuck up as I had previously thought.

But his love for Rachael was sometimes a pain. We could never troll her because he'd get mad at us and yell something like "I won't let you!" or "You know how I feel about her!"

Other than that, he was actually a pretty nice guy. For that, I can't blame him. Everyone has their imperfections...


	7. We Didn't Need That

*Bill's POV*

Note to self: Don't let Scrooge tell you mythical tales about that alternate universe known as Earth right before you go to sleep.

My dream that night was wicked… wicked with horror.

So, I soon found myself laying on the ground, looking up at the small stars. So I got up and found that there was a strange little contraption on the ground. It almost seemed to be a rectangular thing made of glass and plastic. It was whitish-silvery with a black screen-like thing.

After seeing the little button on the bottom, I soon jumped. This was one of those things that I had heard so much talk of: the iPhone.

I didn't have any arms, so I couldn't make much use of it. Besides, in the myth I had heard, I only heard that it caused tragedy, death, hatred… Look, I know I'm a Creeper, but I'm only evil in the sense that I want to blow people up. I don't want an immobile hunk of glass killing people for me.

I walked away, hoping to find Mark and tell him of this discovery. I encountered countless trees until I looked up in the sky and found him on top of a huge stack of dirt that Rachael had placed when making this sort of rollercoaster contraption.

But why was Mark all the way up there?

"HEY!" I called. "MARK! What're you doing up there?!"

Much to my shock, he called back "I have no reason to live, Bill!"

"W-What are you talking about?" I panicked.

"They all think I'm ugly!" he sobbed. "You guys have skin and I don't! They're all right. No girl would ever want to party with… THIS!"

"DUDE!" I shouted back. "What the flying flower are you talking about?!" I was more creeped out than ever before. This_ wasn't_ Mark.

"Just leave!" he shouted. Then, he jumped.

I never saw him again.

As I ran up to his remains, a single tear falling from me, I found what I assumed was his iPhone. I used my foot to get access to it and find that indeed, people were throwing insults at him like snowballs. Mainly other Players. This surprised me.

They were all like "Eww, you're like some OLD pervert!" or "Iww, never!" He had simply asked if anyone wanted to be his friend…

This was exactly like the myths had told. Hate, death… just everything negative.

I went to find Alex, and I eventually did. He had one as well, and he was staring into it, but he didn't appear suicidal. Just extremely absent. The little sounds that came from it told me that he was playing a video game, yet another thing that was included in the myths from Earth. These weren't negative at all, aside from the fact that they had the ability to momentarily take away someone's sense of reality.

"Hey, Alex," I murmured.

Not a movement. Not a word.

I had to walk up to him and blow up. When I pieced myself back together, momentarily blinded with annoyance, I found that I hadn't moved him but about 2 inches. He still stared at that phone.

Welp. I'd lost him.

"Hey," I heard from behind me. Turned around. It was Scrooge. Scrooge, but no phone.

"Oh, thank goodness!" I rejoiced. "You don't have one of those blasted things!"

"What 'blasted thing'?" he asked. He got out the very gadget I had feared. "…Anyway, I was looking up some tips on how to attract a girl. They're different. They strike my curiosity. I think I'll go try them out on Rachael." At that, he left.

I was so broken by all this that I didn't even claim his stupidity. And how disgusting I knew he was going to be. Those myths held a lot of detail, mind you…. My eye was twitching, and I fell over on my side. Never to move again.

Then, I found myself sitting up, on the ground, near a patch of grass. I quickly stood up and looked to my left.

There was Mark, sleeping peacefully. I knew Mark because of that new iron bar leg he had. Heard a wolf got his original leg.

That iPhone thing was all a dream. Thank the heavens.

**Author's note: Just a slightly exaggerated version of the real world for you. Anyway, idea time! Have an idea? Let me know! DragonZeus1 has given me quite a few ideas so far within the entire series of Minecdotes. Thank you, Dragon!**


	8. Slamacow

**Author's note: This is a revised version of yet another idea from DragonZeus1! Not all of it is exactly what I was told, but the idea behind this Minecdote was inspired by him!**

* * *

*Bill's POV*

So one day, Scrooge came to me saying "Those Villagers always have the BEST news for me!" Everything was quiet until that moment, so I almost blew up with shock.

"Dude, you scared me!" I shouted, turning around to face him. "And the Villagers always have news from different realms! They're the ones who told us about those horrid iPhones from the real world!" I shuddered a bit as I remembered that nightmare. That certain nightmare that made me grateful that things were the way they were here in Minecraft.

"My brother, Bart, and Alex's brother, Dave, are coming to Rachael's world!" Scrooge squealed. "You know… THIS WORLD!" He reminded me of a crazed fangirl. I had to shake my head.

Then, it hit me.

"Wait… Bart and Dave?" I asked. "…Slamacow's friends?!"

"What?" Scrooge shrugged. "You never knew I was Bart's brother?"

"No!" I cried. "Dude, you have to let me meet them!"

"Don't worry, I got you covered," Scrooge nodded. "I'm just worried that you'll get so frustrated with the crowd that you'll explode."

"I swear, I'll keep my cool," I promised. "I've heard so much about them! That they own a saloon, Dave kicks butt at video games…"

"Yep, you've got the right guys," Scrooge nodded. "I haven't seen my bro in forever. This is gonna be awesome!"

So we continued on to Steve's house, where we would do the usual nightly trolling.

*Rachael's POV*

I thought I had no unusual destiny in the world of Minecraft. I had slain the Enderdragon, so I was technically a pro. Now, I spent my time building a replica of the Krusty Krab and trying to get "Where Are We Now", the very last music disc I needed, out of an unfortunate Creeper somewhere. Perhaps the answer was within that one that seemed to communicate with other mobs a lot every night? Not sure.

But everything changed that one particular morning after one more unsuccessful night. I got down from atop my music-disc-extraction chamber by the village in the desert when just barely, I heard a pair of Villagers displaying their eagerness of the news that my world would be having a certain guest.

I couldn't believe my ears. These two must have been joking. I ran up to them and asked them what in the world they were talking about.

"Slamacow!" one of them exclaimed. "And they say they're expecting you to represent your world by welcoming him with a speech."

At that, filled with joy, I ran home, tripping over absolutely nothing on my way. When I got inside, I got out a sign and tried to formulate the basis of my speech… the speech that would be spoken to Slamacow… one of the greatest Minecraft animators there ever was…

**The next day… ***Bill's POV*

Their arrival is what woke me and Scrooge up that morning. There were multiple chatters floating throughout the air. Female mobs, mostly Zombies and Endermen, were screaming and falling to the ground.

We stood up to see them coming our way. Slamacow, along with Bart and Dave. Faith was suddenly restored to my life. I had thought that by being hired to be a mob in such a normal world, nothing exciting would enrich my life. But now, here were my role models, walking towards us. When they approached us, Bart shook Scrooge's hand.

"Hey, bro!" Bart smiled. "How are ya?"

"Great, great!" Scrooge smiled. Then, they both saw me. "Oh, that's Bill. He's a huge fan."

But when Bart looked at me, it was momentary. He suddenly looked away after just a second, as if something were wrong…

"No, I'll leave," I sighed, turning away from the two. "Come find me when I'm ACCEPTED!" At that, I just walked away.

And wasn't spoken to for the rest of the day as I sat against a tree deep within the forest. I saw that Dave eventually found Alex. They played video games together… I was the loneliest Creeper in Minecraft…

*Rachael's POV*

I sensed that they were here after multiple Enderman murmurs broke the peaceful silence. I opened my door to find that the trio I had been anxiously awaiting were being swamped with a variety of different mobs.

Eventually, Bart and Dave went their separate ways… I began to wonder whether the myth the Villager had told me was true, but that wasn't my priority. Slamacow approached me. Slamacow, here, less than 4 feet away from me… in MY world?! If that myth wasn't true, how did this come to be?

"Hello," he said calmly.

My nervousness and my confidence suddenly got into an all-out brawl within me. Confidence won for the most part, but my freezing nervousness really hung in there.

"Hi!" I said. "…This world is smaller than your average PC world, but I assure you, there is still a lot of room! Heh… I'm Rachael!" I quickly put out my hand. He shook it. "What brings you here?"

"Ah, Bart and Dave have relatives here," Slamacow replied. "Named Scrooge and Alex, apparently.

That myth. It couldn't be…

But it was shooed out of my mind until the next night. He and I worked on my replica of the Krusty Krab and got the flooring completely finished.

That night, he reported that he had talked to Bart, and Bart had said that they should stay for 2 more days. Slamacow camped out in my empty room/roller coaster entrance. Oh, he had a blast with that roller coaster. I lost count of how many times he rode it.

After he finally got his own bed and went to sleep, I stared out of the window. Communicating mobs? Mobs with names? I thought they were all the same… That myth couldn't be true… or could it?!


	9. Hey, Mark!

*Mark's POV*

You know what I never understood? How it seems that Bill and Scrooge specifically want me to be stuck with Alex all the time. I mean, do you even _know _how annoying it is to be around someone that dumb and annoying?! He just groans and makes strange remarks all day! Sometimes, he makes me steam to the point that it's almost like he's pushed me out in the sun!

I needed company. I was about to go insane because I didn't have anyone to keep me legitimate company. It got to me. I had considered suicide many times, and had attempted it just once. I had attempted to launch myself out into the sunlight, but OF COURSE, it began to rain.

I knew that my only way out was to jump from a high place. Besides, it wouldn't be as slow, right?

So I made my staircase. The dirt staircase that took me at least 3 weeks to build, far away from our usual hangout spot by Rachael's castle.

But the night that I tried to jump from it didn't go exactly as planned.

I put my foot toward the edge of the dirt block that I was standing on. It was a long way down. I couldn't even see the ground. This was perfect. Not an ounce of life would be spared for me. I was about to escape… escape into somewhere other than here, even if it turned out to be nowhere.

I thought I could hear footsteps from behind me. Oh, no. I got the gut feeling that someone had found me. Was I just a minute too late to go unnoticed?

I backed up to sprint, and tried sprinting for the edge.

But something grabbed my hand. What was that? Was it some sort of… bone? No…

I turned around, and to my shock, it was another Skeleton. It had makeup on. A female Skeleton had come to save me from suicide… What was this?!

"Why'd you decide to try that?" she asked, revealing her smooth, delicate voice to me.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," I sighed, stepping away from the edge. "Other than idiots, I've got nobody to talk to… Well, what's your name, anyway?"

"Kim," she nodded. "I decided to explore a new territory for once, to get away from the perverts that mess with me where I usually patrol. Then, I saw you climbing this staircase. I was curious." She shrugged.

"…Thanks," I blushed. "…R-Really, thank you. You saved my life. Reassured me that… someone cares, I guess… heh…" Kim giggled.

"Where'd you get the iron bar?" she asked. "It looks really cool on you."

"Wolf got my real leg," I chuckled.

"That sucks," Kim nodded. She looked to the east, and I did as well. The sun was showing itself.

"It was nice meeting you," I said as we climbed down the staircase together. "And thank you."

"You're always welcome," she smiled. "See you later!" At that, she sprinted away.

"Bye," I murmured, standing under a different tree than usual. Watching her go.

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**Author's note: Okay, so this one's a bit cheesy. That's completely my fault. Things didn't work out on my end. I'm writing this at 10 at night. Anyway, I was thinking… What if I, the author, had an interviewer find the Four Stooges of Minecraft (that name was inspired by a review I got, by the way)? You guys have any questions? If so, I'll be taking them until Tuesday, June 3, 2014. I'll be trying something new!**


	10. Hey, Mark! Part 2

**Author's note/Announcement: As of soon, this fanfiction is officially a co-op fanfiction! As soon as we work out and finalize the details, I'll be co-oping with DragonZeus1 for Minecdotes! Anyway, this is a bit simple, but you know, hassle with final exams and everything.**

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*Mark's POV*

Kim… Kim was the only name I could think about for the remainder of the night. I didn't know what it was about her. I usually hated others, especially that bumbling zombie!

But that bumbling zombie and the rest of the group contradicted my personality, I quickly realized. We just didn't click as buddies, you know?

But it felt like Kim was more understanding than anyone I have ever been forced to come into contact with.

That day, I remember Scrooge pushing me back into the shade of my tree when the thoughts of Kim blinded me and almost had me walking out into the blinding sun.

"Dude, you alright?" Scrooge asked when he rescued me.

I looked up at him, not saying a word, but suddenly recalling that he'd be a great source of information at this moment. He was the only one I knew who was experiencing the same thing I thought I was.

"Dude?" I asked. "…I'm trying to determine what's going on with me. Can you describe in as much detail as you can… what you feel toward Rachael?"

Scrooge tilted his head for a second, like a confuzzled dog, but eventually, he became the star-crossed, moony boy he became only when he ever thought about the one he saw as his honey.

"Oh, it was love at first sight," he sighed. "She was just starting out on this world, in that little wooden house out by the river. I was appointed to be one of the first Endermen to try to haunt her. Heh, I remember that she tried to shoot arrows at me!"

"It was that long ago?" I marveled.

"Yeah," he continued. "Anyway, to try to creep her out, I decided to stare at her through the 1-by-2 window she had. I ended up getting away by the time the sun rose. I remember how disappointed she looked… She was out for Ender Pearls…"

"But how did you _feel_?" I asked.

"She stared back at me that night," Scrooge explained. "Her eyes were dancing with excitement, and out of nowhere, my heart began doing the same thing. She looked so lively and optimistic."

"Your heart danced?" I asked.

"Yeah, like there was a flurry of little happiness sparkles whirling around it like magic," he nodded.

That was exactly how I felt.

"Did her… body make you feel any different?" I asked nervously. It had to be asked. Leave me alone.

"No," said Scrooge. "I'd like to hug it, I guess."

And that was also exactly how I felt as well.

"Just out of curiosity," I continued. "How have you managed to be in love with her for so long? It's been at least a year since she built this castle."

"She talks to herself wherever she goes," Scrooge sighed. "Her voice is music to my ears. No matter what she's saying, I can hear her optimism, her dreams… I can hear it all in her voice. She's absolutely beautiful, Mark. That's the best explanation I can give you."

Absolutely beautiful… when talking about exterior beauty, I was afraid that I couldn't say the same for Kim.

Wait… internal beauty. Of course. She was like nobody I had ever met, or thought possible.

"Hey," Scrooge smiled. "You're in wuv wif someone, aren't you?"

"Yes," I blurted out. "W-Wait, NO!"

"Yes," Scrooge chuckled. "I can hear it in your voice. And there's been an everlasting blush on your cheeks. What's her name?"

"…Kim," I nodded confidently. "She's a Skeleton as well."

"Neat," he nodded. "Well, good luck!" As he walked away, I heard him mutter "Of course."


	11. How About We Build a Snowman?

**Author's note: Idea was inspired by DragonZeus1 (who I am **_**officially **_**co-oping with now).**

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*Bill's POV*

I was just walking casually, through our forest on a cool, dark night, when I noticed that Mark and Scrooge were talking. When I heard the word "love" fly out of Mark's mouth, I dove behind a tree and peeked out at them carefully. Mark… talking about love?! What was this?!

"How do you know when you're in love?" he asked Scrooge. "I mean REALLY in love?"

"When your heart gets butterflies," Scrooge sighed. "When you feel like there's a tornado whirling around in there, spinning you around and destroying everything that previously brought you down."

I stuck my tongue out and walked away. Who was I to listen to that kind of mush? I thought the way I did it was just fine.

I walked over to the snow biome and noticed something strange. There were just 4 blocks of snow in a T formation on the ground. Someone was clearly trying to build a snowman.

Then, I spotted Alex. He was carrying a Jack-o-Lantern. Towards the snowman.

"Hey, HEY!" I shouted, running over to him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Oh! The baby Villager's story time just finished!" he smiled. "I hid behind a tree and heard as the grown-up Villager told the kids about a snowman who helped a girl find what love is! His name was Olaf!"

What was he talking about? Clearly, he had gone delusional again or something.

"Olaf?" I asked.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Olaf said love is when you put someone else's needs before your own. So I'm making Olaf so that he can teach Mark and Scrooge a lesson."

My frown lessened ever so slightly. Alex wasn't the brightest light bulb in the house. In fact, he was the light bulb that was manufactured wrong and never worked. But here must have been one of his less… oblivious moments. He was dumb, but he had good intentions. Hey… it was actually a pretty good idea!

I envisioned us actually bringing Olaf to life and having him walk up to Mark and Scrooge. To teach them a lesson.

My thoughts had rendered me oblivious to the fact that Alex put the Jack-o-Lantern on the snowman. Oh dear… this wasn't good.

It looked from me to Alex, then back at me with that Jack-o-Lantern face.

Then, I found myself getting a 100mph snowball to the face and falling on my back. I sighed. This snowball was enough of a facepalm.

"Idiot," I growled, shaking the snow off of me and getting up, getting scared. "You've made a snow golem!"

"What's that?" Alex asked before being pelted in the face with a snowball.

"It attacks mobs," I said. "…THAT MEANS RUN!"

I ran away, towards Mark and Scrooge, looking back to make sure Alex was following.

He was, screaming "He's supposed to say 'Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!' He's supposed to love, not hate!"

"THAT'S NOT OLAF!" I screamed back in frustration.

Mark turned around and said "Hey, what's wrong with you guys?"

"Snow golem!" I shouted. "Run!"

So all 4 of us ended up running, of course. We hadn't even seen a snow golem before. We were simply alerted of them, along with all of our other dangers, upon spawning. Therefore, we weren't exactly sure how far was far enough.

Then, I looked up and realized that the worst always has to happen to us.

The sun was rising. And fast. And other than the danger zone, where I saw that the golem was lurking, there wasn't a spot of shade in sight for Mark and Alex.

I looked toward the castle, and in a wave of panic, I realized that that was the only way they were going to survive.

"Come on!" I shouted. We dashed over there, and once we were on the bridge, I peeked in the door. Rachael seemed to be fast asleep.

"She's asleep," I whispered. "Come on."

"Are you crazy?!" Scrooge whispered back.

"The sun's coming up," I explained.

I took a deep breath as Mark opened the door, and he and Alex went inside.

"Won't she think it's a little suspicious if she clearly knows we see her, but don't try to murder her?" Mark whispered.

"Don't hesitate to answer your call of duty," I nodded. "Unlike us, she will respawn."

"B-But she'll try to kill us!" Alex feared.

"SHH!" I said. "Hide out in her attic. I hear she never goes up there anymore."

"Got it!" said Mark. At that, they climbed up the ladder that rose from on top of Rachael's fireplace on a tower of cobblestone.

Did they make it out alright? Indeed, they did. We came and got them when the sun had set. They seemed really relieved to get out of there, and I couldn't blame them. Both that and the snow golem were distinctly large possibilities of unescapable death. One threw snowballs, and the other wielded an iron, enchanted blade. But the one with the blade just went her own merry way. The golem was on the prowl 24/7.

The thought struck me the next day, about how this all started. It all started because Alex wanted to build a snowman that gave lessons on what love truly was.

Alex is the dullest blade out there, but if he was really a sword, he was sure mad out of pure gold.


End file.
